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the rebel is the optimist…

September 18, 2014

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in the way that i see it as it came to me as it so often does straight out of thin air by way of the holy spirit – in a slightly different manner it was said by another far more enlightened than me and then it instantly hit as to just how exceptionally valid and vital it is in drawing a greater light to living and thriving within this far better reality – it’s the way of living life in where so much more of the good the better and the far greater from there ultimately and might i add far more consistently arrives in our life – after all we live in a world where so many of us errantly and so self-detrimentally leap into the lies of a life saddled by more or less bitching our way from one minute to the next – and when that’s the way we’ve been led to live within what it is we’ve been given by the ones that made us as well as the ones we’ve decided to surround ourselves with it’s a rather sad state of affairs – it’s a rather sad state of affairs in that so often so many of us are entirely unaware we’ve been effectively suffocating ourselves in just this fashion all along – so many of us have allowed ourselves to be sold a soul-stealing lie as constantly proliferated in the greater framework of how so much of the culture and indeed the media drives the draining conversation of our daily lives – it’s a deadly negative way of living that only breeds what it is we first allow into our minds as originally and constantly fueled by the hurt we’re holding onto and adding onto within our silent hearts as then completed in what we say as traveling across our lips – and when that’s what’s happening whatever it is we’re saying typically tends to be entirely counterproductive right out of the gate, and that means we’re getting nowhere fast at a record speed having only ourself to thank -

society’s been given many a fighter from one scene to the next and sometimes that’s been a very good thing yet well more often than not it’s the needless fight within the misguided fighter that amounts to the losing move without even taking a single step – and what i mean by that is that in the spirit of picking our battles that spirit itself has been steadily corrupted and ever so skillfully twisted into the concept that life is a struggle and life is unfair and if we’re ever going to get anywhere it’s always going to come with a fight – and that fight means i win when you lose and that’s the zero sum game of the greater share of history – after all the fight leads to the triumph and the triumph is winning the game in that set-up – however and nonetheless there is an easier way and it’s called the positive sum game – and that’s the one where we all win where in some fashion or another we all end up better off in the end – and that happens when we create a traveling infection all around us in a way that’s so invading we can’t help but capture spirits from the one to the next – and that means creating what’s been seen and proven not only from scientific pursuit yet far greater than that from what’s said from one happier soul to another about what it is that happens in our lives when everything we say and everything we do comes from the love within us – and when we’re in that groove and we’re on that track with the sole intent of simply making each decision in a way that’s going to create an outcome to the greater collective benefit to everyone involved we all win – it’s said as seen from studies that a simple smile from one person to the next travels at least 4 generations deep to the degree we are positively affecting people we will likely never even know – and far further from there when we’re leading our lives in the utmost of a steadily ascending faith in God as personally witnessed within by the wonderful ways of the everpresent holy spirit it’s nearly indescribable as to what it is that so wonderfully and often times with perfecting accuracy happens for us as literally given life by our very own spoken words – bad gets bad and as they say good begets good as we’ll always typically see if and once we only open our eyes as led by a finally freed heart – it’s that simple, it’s that good and there couldn’t ever be anything more vital in understanding by far and away best how to live this wonderful thing we call life – wishing you one in the same and God’s every blessing ~rettingerrockfiles/RRF~

driven to tears…

September 15, 2014

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as the leading words into a conversation typically begins the tale of something rather sad in some fashion or another yet then again that’s not always the way – and today was just such a day and it couldn’t have arrived at any better of a time in our lives for me and my father – as many of you are well aware we’ve now been without my loving mother and dad’s wonderful wife for nearly 40 days right to the minute at this writing since that late tuesday august afternoon just last month – and it still hurts far more than i could’ve ever imagined and far more than anything i’ve said to anyone until these very words – my exceptional mother and dad’s best friend for 61 years was indeed a truly heartwarming presence in every way and while i literally can feel her within my heart in my every minute from one day to the next let it be said it hasn’t been the same – it just hasn’t been the same in not being able to call them up and hear them both on the phone together finishing one another’s sentences, it hasn’t been the same in not hearing mom’s beautifully loud and ever so happy laugh and it hasn’t been the same in not seeing that look in her eye that was the very essence of the words i love you every time we greeted one another as well as every time we went our separate ways – yet by the grace of God we know the only way through all of the grief and sorrow is indeed with having the faith that we are healing – and we know as well that we will rise above the pain as then arriving in a time when only laughter and love fill our hearts as we think of, remember and celebrate my wonderful mother’s life -

and then came a time just earlier today where something so perfect happened as our newly born journey seemed to be given quite a lift in leading us there – and there is a place i am imagining will be one somewhere down the road where almost everything will seem right again even if not ever quite the same – and what happened was simply as beautiful as anything i could’ve ever hoped for in not only my father joining us at our church for a further added shot of well-needed uplifting yet for what happened just after a few short minutes inside – so for setting the scene a bit more clearly it’s well worth understanding my father had been a christmas catholic for many many years in fact far too many than what’s worth counting until he and i just last month began again attending every saturday mass since my mother’s passing – as well it’s quite worth understanding that i’ve very happily been in rather lively services for these past 3 years with my wonderful girlfriend at a rather large christian non-denominational and to say the differences are many at times is very much of an understatement – so in requesting dad to join us as i did of both him and mom a year or so ago it wasn’t a surprise that they weren’t jumping at the invitation – it wasn’t out of any disdain and it wasn’t out of apathy and in fact i’m not really sure what it was as to why they wouldn’t come with us yet it was what it was and that’s that – so here we are in the here&now and for many good reasons from a to well beyond z i just knew my father would take a liking to the uniquely invigorating vitality and brimming vibrancy that lives within sunday service at our church – and to my sheer delight he told me just last evening he’d happily join us and he did -

so there we were arriving to a rather darkened chapel this morning full of many hundreds of parishoners all so joyously enraptured in the amazing songs of praise then happening – and let it be said this wonderful music at times literally thunders through our halls as coming from the gloriously passionate and supremely talented 9-piece band we’re so blessed with – and let it further be said this just wasn’t anything dad had ever been in the midst of before – yet there he was and there we all were and i was just so happy that he was with us – and then it happened – in a setting where traditional hymns aren’t typically the mainstay of the setlist so to speak one of them i wasn’t even familiar with began to ring out in such a wonderfully collective voice and it just felt good – and that’s when i heard one of the most beautiful things ever to come my way in hearing my father’s voice as he was now singing in an ever so soft and elegantly loving fashion that filled not only the air around me to the left yet it filled my heart and then my eyes with the most beautiful tears of happiness – dad’s voice created within me a loving peace that was entirely unexpected as i felt all in that one instant that my father like myself was also now finding an even further peace from within as given a greater helping hand in just being there together with me in a spirit and in a place i so very much love to be – and for that i am thankful and i am amazed in God’s wonderful way in doing what only he can ever do in such a perfecting grace – everything from thereafter was just as beautiful in a way that i’ll never forget this day for the rest of my life – so as with everything i say thank you God and i say thank you dad just as well – here’s to many more years of family and fellowship unlike we’ve ever had before, i love you – wishing you one in the same and God’s every blessing ~rettingerrockfiles/RRF~

used people…

September 11, 2014

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fresh off the shelf as a mindset is one of the very best winning moves we can ever make in life – it seems to me there’re altogether far too many times when the past is doing everything it can to sabotage the here&now let alone giving way to any hope for an even brighter future – and that’s the way of the sensitive territiories of the mind that at times find an undeserving strength in leading our thoughts and words and indeed our very ways – i’d like to think i have complete freedom from ever giving in to these weaker moments and the damage that’s always created by them yet i don’t and maybe i never will – yet with every day i am ever so blessed with for the rest of my life i will do everything possible to be an even better human being than i was just the day before – a better man and a better partner, a better son and a better brother, a better nephew and a better uncle and always a better friend and above it all a far better child of God as leading the way in my every relationship, this is the commitment i am making to me myself and i – and if i have anything to do with the way it all turns out as i believe in all of my heart that i most certainly do then i am entirely destined for greater success in every way with the arrival of each new day – in reflecting i realize this lesson’s been given to me all throughout my life and in many ways i’ve heeded it rather well yet at times i do get completely in my own way and down i go, and yikes i am so sorry but what a dramatic lead i can tend to be in these lesser minutes – and to any and all that’ve ever been there and done that with me when you wish you hadn’t been please accept my sincerest apology and let me blame at least a little of it on the zeal of the irishman within me, with a further castigating light on the excitable italian and then let’s not forget an exacting german just to complete the effect – i mean come on in the way that i see it it’s likely a rather amazing feat that i even get along as well as i typically do with most of the people i ever meet -

anyway i guess what i’m simply trying to say is that there’s a wonderful gift within us all when we finally realize forgiving ourselves and then asking from the heart for the forgiveness of others delivers an immediate and revitalizing peace within us – further from there it is all about living from within this inner peace as to what it so beautifully is that makes this life always worth living and certainly always worth giving it our very best – wishing you one in the same with God’s every blessing ~rettingerrockfiles/RRF~

the greatest conversation…

September 6, 2014

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i’ve ever had sometimes leaves me not only feeling entirely on cloud 9 nearly blissed out of my mind yet it also somehow keeps arriving in some fantastic fashion as if it’s all happening all over again and then again from there – at times far more than i can clearly recall a meeting so fascinating with someone entirely new’s come into my life just like that – and when it does i find myself reeling from it like an even greater light than what’s already so immeasurably there has now found its way ever so perfectly right into my heart now all that much the brighter – it happens with such a beautiful frequency to the degree that it often leaves me wondering what all did i do as who it was i might have been before this life came to be? – every time it happens i get an overwhelming sense i’m doing everything right all by the grace of God in the minutes happening right there and then with my newly made friend as we’re so happily in such captivating conversation – the topics and the depth always seem to be without any limits as that in turn gives way to the wonder of life as seen in another’s eyes as coming straight from their heart – it’s entirely engaging as much as it is exciting in not knowing where we’re headed next – in fact some of the most meaningful, memorable and enlightening times of my entire life have come in just this fashion – it’s how i fell in love all in an instant with the first wonderful woman in my life who quite so graciously stayed for nearly twenty years and it’s exactly how i met the second wonderful lady God has so lovingly graced me with in finding love once again – it’s exactly what happened with the legendary piano player billy powell as we fell into the friendliest and fondest of conversation for nearly an hour at a chance meeting sitting down right next to one another in of all settings a fashion show so many years ago – and then again it’s exactly what happened in an instant connecting of souls in the brief yet exceptionally heartfelt conversation i had with joel osteen the very night before my birthday in 2012 right at a time when my entire world had been otherwise turned completely upside down – and then again it all began with just the one beautiful conversation with one new brother at a time in that personally foundation-leveling summer and fall of the year 2011 as arrived journey, scott and terry as coming from three different cities and two different countries yet all from the one ever so desperately needed compassionate heart -

and for this most wonderful gift that has always been such an exceptionally uplifting blessing in my life i say thank you God, you constantly inspire me – and for all of the touching souls ever gracing my life with your loving friendship even if only for a few yet heartwarming words from one time to another i say thank you with all of my heart everything the same – and as i leave these feelings in these just written words let it be said i’m now looking very forward to that next greatest conversation and with God at the wheel i know in all of my heart it’s just up ahead – wishing you one in the same and God’s every blessing ~rettingerrockfiles/RRF~

and again as a butterfly…

September 2, 2014

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she arrived not at random yet rather the once and then again 3 times thereafter with an elegance in faith invitation and timing that can only ever be as given by heaven – and what a beautifully perfect way in saying hello to one another it was and how wonderfully grateful i am – in a time and a place not so far away in the land of who i was and what i wasn’t yet feeling this gift would’ve gone entirely unrealized and with that i would’ve been far the lesser at peace in the way that i now so fortunately am – there’s a light in life by the grace of God that once it’s been seen stays on within us in an ever-loving fashion that can only ever truly be felt as even words of the most gifted pairings will never adequately compare – you simply have to feel it to know it and when you do all bets are off as you’ve finally left the starting line to what your life is truly all about in the awaiting victories of where you’re now surely headed – it’s this guiding light from within that leads me in my every moment as it is the foundational peace of love in it’s very essence -

it’s a love that fortifies faith and it’s a love that sees all of the good even when my eyes are closed – it’s within this love that i find the gift of forgiving myself and any others of any misgivings that are only in the way of reaching the greater good of what it is we have been given this precious thing we call life to be – it’s within this love where compassion embraces my every emotion thereby leading me to see more clearly from the heart of others – and it’s within this love where even when so many things may seem amiss and so many feelings of everything away from what is happiness may gather they nonetheless all collectively still fail in getting the better of me as it is love that ultimately shines brighter than them all – in finding this higher love the grace of God gives way to the greater discovery of how wonderfully beautiful it is in living life as moving through the holy spirit – and through the holy spirit we all at once understand there never has been a single coincidence or even one fleeting moment of luck in our life as indeed it’s all been by the loving hands of God – it’s how he does what it is he’s doing for us and the very moment we open our eyes as coming through our heart we do indeed find we have arrived in a place more wonderful than any other – we find that we’re completely taken with the feeling that all is weller than well and that as long as we listen to our heart in the way of the holy spirit and the still quiet and loving voice of God we are living life at it’s best in our every single moment – and from this place something even more fascinating begins happening as what it is we’re seeing with our eyes then steadily begins transcending to an even greater guiding vision within our heart as coming from God himself -

and that’s how it is then when a lone butterfly unlike any other i’ve ever seen greets me just as i’m sitting down to break bread and i literally hear from within my heart to come outside to where it’s so beautiful today and say hello to me – and as i did just that without letting my mind get in the way this beautifully perfect little butterfly returned to me not once but all three times that i simply and gently requested it come back and say hello to me again as well – and as she has now arrived in the most amazing fashions as the returning festive and keenly focused robin for my father and the prettiest little circling hummingbird for my sister-in-law i further realized in an instant that this beautifully peaceful little butterfly was indeed my wonderul mother greeting me yet again as she has been doing in so many wonderful ways since that fateful day she left us for heaven just this past august 5th – it was so overwhelmingly beautiful in that not only did she fly back to me the 3 times with just the softest of an unspoken smiling request yet she also came into the patio directly right up to me nearly stopping and then circling above me in the most amazing fashion staying with me for many seconds each time – and i know in all of my heart she did it just to make sure i realized what was happening as to who it was and what she was simply saying, and i did – and i will forever be the far better for it for the rest of my life – and so i say thank you mom for your constantly loving presence in every amazing way that you’re now finding me and thank you God for your truly captivating and all-encompassing loving ways that’ll forever lead me so perfectly for the rest of my days – wishing you one in the same and God’s every blessing ~rettingerrockfiles/RRF~

the prettiest little hummingbird…

August 28, 2014

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came up to me entirely unexpectedly and without any explanation from anyone in any way and then it happened – and so it was so many days ago when the sun was still shining on an otherwise perfectly fine monday afternoon – and then some many days later i realized in that ever so stunning fashion of all-at-once that i was indeed altogether blind as to what it was that was happening on that day and now so suddenly i wasn’t – so there i was on the day it all began and it rather rapidly became very cloudy and then very darkly gray right before the bottom fell out with a tremendously heavy rain that just didn’t seem as if it would ever find an end – and once again as it’s so thankfully been the pattern i decided would be mine in recent years my mind simply went silver and so followed my heart – and that led to the brighter words found here just 24 days ago of the beauty of gray so titled on a rainy day – and then came tuesday and tuesday afternoon and the heaviest feeling of sorrow i’ve ever had in all the years of my life in suddenly hearing the saddest sounding and endlessly tearful words of my father in being told my dear wonderful mother had suddenly passed away – none of us had anything even remotely in the way of a hint that mom’s final minutes were so fastly arriving yet they were and they did – and then everything went still and silent and sideways for many hours to come and from there for many days after that – however something so wonderful also happened that would come to tell the greater story as i came to realize all in an instant as to just how beautiful of a gift God had already given me right before mom returned to heaven – and then again it happened in nearly just the same way for my sister-in-law in the days just after we all gathered in celebrating the golden-hearted life mom had so happily led -

it’s important to say just how much of an affinity the 3 of us in my mother my sister-in-law and myself had as we were 3 birds of a feather in so many ways – it’s fair to say i’ve always felt very much at peace and completely understood and so absolutely loved by them both – and in the neverendingly mysterious ways of God he joined us together once again in the way that it came to be in what it was that happened – and here’s exactly what happened as i was working from the patio reveling in the beautiful view of the lake and the fountain and the so many pretty birds and ducks and cranes that day – and as i was i was also locked-in in such a nearsighted fashion to my cell looking to see who needed contacted next not realizing it was me and then it happened -

i became so suddenly startled as something of size well beyond that of a tiny fly so rapidly and quietly approached me – as my eyes so quickly adjusted and to my great surprise and sheerly overhwhelming delight it was a precious little hummingbird literally hovering less than an inch away from my foot looking right at me – and there it stayed for many seconds and then it took a sudden and imperceptible turn to the right as if to let me know it had to move along and then it turned back looking right at me once again and stayed a few more seconds and then it left – and right there and then off went my mind and out poured the tears as i was entirely overwhelmed not even knowing why as to what just happened and then many minutes later i forgot about it – and then my mother passed away the very next day and then many days passed from there – and then my sister-in-law told my father of the most amazing experience she had just had (entirely unaware of mine) when they returned back north after everything was over as she was visited in her garage the one morning by the prettiest little hummingbird – and so it arrived flittering about this way that way and the other as well as circling right around cheryl as if just to say hello all the while returning the happiest of smiles to cheryl’s face and indeed her heart as something so wonderful happened yet again -

and then it all became as clear as anything has ever been in my life as to exactly what had happened – you see my mother’s mother was the 4th bird of that feather of 3 i mentioned just minutes ago and ever since she left us all the way back in the year 2000 i knew all at once just a few years later that she was with me in my every minute – and in knowing that it all came together – it was her my grandmother my nana visiting me as the hummingbird that morning in trying to tell me my mother was about to join her in heaven and just the next day she did – and then with my sister-in-law it was my mother now visiting her in bringing a well-deserved returning smile to cheryl after all of her tears of these past many days since august 5th – and so it is with faith in that anything and indeed everything is possible and at times it all makes so much sense as it then delivers so much well-needed peace as it did for us – and such it was and so it is that 2 of the prettiest little hummingbirds ever so quiet and oh so peaceful found their way right to where they were needed at just the right minute in giving a gift of the sweetest loving fashion that i will never ever forget – and for it all i say thank you God – your grace is indeed endlessly amazing – wishing you one in the same and God’s every blessing ~rettingerrockfiles/RRF~

a greater love revealed…

August 16, 2014

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is certainly the one way to characterize what it’s been in these past many days since my dear and ever so wonderfully loving mother so suddenly passed away in returning to heaven to where she clearly once began – it’s been in these past eleven days in his every loving word and his every falling tear as to the far greater love revealed at a depth i had never realized before as to just how deeply, completely and happily my father has always loved my mother – and i for one feel that much the wealthier in not only bearing witness to such an endearing love yet for also sharing in such an immeasurably loving sentiment within every thread of my heart – because of this wonderful love i can now further feel beyond any shadow of a doubt an even greater sense of compassion that’ll surely always be to the greater good of all of those so close to me in my life for the rest of my days – he’s always been a loving husband and very much a loving father everything the same and we’ve always seen it as surely as we’ve felt it – yes there’ve been times when the precision of germany and the shall we say very well-defined and overridingly passionate spirit of ireland have met with the higher decibels and temporarily angry eyes yet in the grand design of it all they’ve been limited and always amazingly have somehow led the way right back to returning smiles and laughter – and it’s the smiles&laughter that’ve quite fortunately been the mainstay of the better balance of all of the days we’ve been a family for these fifty three years and running – and for that i am exceptionally thankful for being so wonderfully blessed in just the fashion that i’ve always been, thank you dad -

it’s been a steadily revealing journey in so many ways for me in these past three years three months and eleven days since the moment my life changed on a dime from jeff beck to she just left me – it all happened in so many painfully upsetting and then ultimately soulfully strengthening ways and it’s all been by the grace of God in that i’ve found such a far greater peace&clarity unlike ever before – and for it all i couldn’t be any more thankful – and now with my mother on the permanent vacation she so richly deserved as heaven surely is proving to be along with my father being at the dawn of a phase of life that no one ever hopes to arrive at yet by no means is the end of his road i’m finding that God has indeed blessed me yet again – he’s blessed me so unexpectedly, so uniquely and so completely as something inside of me by way of the holy spirit has now taken an even greater loving hold of me – it’s such a fascinating hold with an even brighter light in leading me to be there in every way that i can for not only dear old dad yet also for the very essence of meeting the mission i’ve been given my life to give in being the helping hand of inspiration in any and every way that i’ve been gifted by God to be – and so i shall and so i will do just that inside of every minute moving forward on every path i’m being led to travel on – giving in rhythm and setting every soul free with a smile of God’s loving grace is where you’ll find me for the rest of my life and for it i couldn’t be any happier – wishing every one of you the very same peace as well as God’s every blessing ~rettingerrockfiles/RRF~

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