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asking forgiveness for not knowing and for a chance to heal, please god

August 5, 2011

it is my sincerest of intention and hope that anyone reading these thoughts inspirations and lessons i’ve been blessed to be gaining these past several weeks may find even a glimmer of something helpful or happy to themselves or someone they may know – it’s been the greatest time of raised awareness i have ever experienced – my heart at times continues to tell me i should have seen known and understood everything happening in my life and most importantly with the love of my life my wife rena – at these times a feeling of complete failure sweeps over me yet thankfully by the grace of god and the enlightenment he has given me in what i have been learning as an environment changer this feeling leaves – it leaves because we are all only human and i’ll remind myself that even with the absolute greatest of love which has always been in both of our hearts we can nonetheless unwittingly slip into patterns that we have no way of realizing are hurting one another – these patterns not recognized let alone understood can allow a slow hurt to develop and linger and a feeling of love to diminish –

yet it is of the utmost importance to know that none of this is done because one doesn’t love the other, just the opposite it is because the love is still so great just as it was in the beginning that we both can still feel and at this time confusingly and painfully feel frustrated and fed-up and tell ourselves why keep on trying? – for the love of yourself this is where another question has to be asked of yourself and that is what can the two of us do differently? – critical here is not answering your own question and instead drawing on your inner strength choosing to begin seeing again all of the blessings and good love the two of you have together and also it means reaching out and seeking help from someone with far greater wisdom expertise and success marriage is the hardest yet most rewarding endeavor we can ever undertake nurture and have our souls filled from greater than anything else – the loving marriage of two people who can actually win at love at its highest fulfillment is the greatest inner peace we can ever experience yet it takes what we all agree to at the beginning and that is commitment to one another through the good and the bad

the good seems easy but to make it really good means creating an elegant and ever-present nurturing which means continually learning about one another and our love together and being aware of one another’s feelings and sharing our feelings with one another – the bad feels really bad because that’s exactly what we are all taught bad is yet almost all of the time it really is not – if we allow ourselves to be over-taken by all of the negative emotions that are eagerly awaiting to attack our fragile and sensitive minds let alone if an unusually high stress has overwhelmed your life or maybe both of your lives it becomes painfully easy to feel desperate and at your wit’s end which means giving up – giving up is never the right solution as it is one hundred percent of the time coming from a very overwhelmed negative highly unclear and always temporary mindset – giving up may feel at this time like a win yet it’s never a win –  it’s a potential loss far worse than we can even imagine at the time – thankfully it doesn’t have to be your undoing even if that’s the conclusion that’s already been made at the time –

a feeling of giving up is only from a feeling of a lack of love, that’s it – and we then have to ask ourselves have we ever had the completely wrong feeling because we were upset? – every single one of has and far too many times than we’d like to recall, it’s human – we feel as we see yet what we see in the perfectly processing 100% of the time (ha!) overwhelmed stressed-out and angry mind is many times not what is going on at all – we all need help in life and at a time like this we need it more than ever, again it’s human– so now we have to ask is it possible that in my time of overwhelming upsetting stress and upheaval is it even more likely there’s a far far greater chance we are feeling completely the wrong feelings? – it makes perfect sense when you read it here yet if you are living it it’s incredibly difficult to see or hear as it happens to ourselves – at this point of feeling so much pain what’s now critical for your very well-being and future happiness is that you make just one decision and one decision alone and that is to seek help from an expert whom has no emotional investment in what you are feeling as they can see what you are now unwittingly blind to seeing, let alone the aspect of how feeling overwhelmed always without fail leads your mind to only see the negative in your life and blinds you to all the good and the blessings surrounding you in your life including your partner most of all

you and your partner came together because you were and still are one another’s single greatest gift to each other – you never would have gotten together and married otherwise – please for the love of yourself and the love that is still inside your soul for your partner even though your mind is trying to tell you otherwise never say i give up and turn your back – rarely if ever is it a good decision and you will live to regret never finding another love anywhere near as great as what you already have – it is still there

and remember every human comes with their own set of issues no matter how green the grass seems on the other side – what makes more sense to roll the dice and start all over not having a clue what someone’s about no matter how they may appear or sound or is it far more rewarding to get help in understanding what is happening with you and the one you have always loved the most and resolving those matters and healing and rediscovering the amazing love that has always been there? – choose love – please for the love of your happiness make the truly far easier choice of staying together as you from your loving soul and not your overwhelmed mind committed to at the beginning, getting help is easy and so incredibly relieving and healing – please never let your mind especially an overwhelmed and upset mind fight your soul and say this is something i don’t necessarily want to do but have to do – have to do? – says who an angry ‘friend‘, the horrible selfish-at-everyone-else’s-expense culture that saturates the media and our 24/7 life-controlling mind-stealing constant companions we now call our smart phones? – no you don’t have to and you shouldn’t and you actually just said so yourself –

only the soul knows what is in your heart and only when the soul and the mind are in agreement can you truly be content – without truly listening to the whisper of my soul which always is in the know even when my mind wants to tell me otherwise i would certainly be lost as my entire life has always been defined from the love that i give including to myself by seeking help even and especially now as we are temporarily separated – god forbid you ever make the blindingly painful choice of jumping off the cliff so-to-speak never having said anything was hurting you or giving yourself and your loved one the chance to be healed togetherlove ultimately is the only winner in life, never give up on who god blessed you with, you truly do complete one another – as for me i will live each day with the utmost compassion happiness gratitude and love, unconditional love – i will be right here for you honey, i love you – wishing you vision wisdom strength and all of god’s blessings ~rettingerrockfiles/RRF~

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