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this road’s without a speed limit and that’s just fine with me…

September 16, 2011

it’s been a tremendous undertaking in these past 12 or 13 years from something once said to me that had the effect of a blinding mirror in my face with someone who looked a lot like me but strangely and very unsettlingly so gave an appearance of something being very off – it wasn’t me but rather was an alternate take on what could become if i didn’t follow the right path – i got it somewhat and that’s what led to a new quest to fix myself and all i didn’t like in me – at times this effort’s run steady and the changes have been relatively apparent and definitely for the better – then again other times have seen me fall down face-first to my great detriment and certainly even more so to the ones whom i’ve had the blessing of their love – it’s that invaluable love that’s always gotten me out of despair off the floor and up and running once again – let me say here to everyone who’s held my hand or lovingly touched my head or listened to me when i wasn’t understanding life or simply but life-givingly told me i love you i am forever grateful to each and every one of you beyond what any words can ever say – it is because of all of you that i am still heregod blessed me with an unbelievably high level of emotional energy and at times i’ve not known how to live with it as my friend – in these times i’ve allowed the fear of not arriving allow me to not arrive and i’ve never understood why and how this was happening yet it was – and to all those who love me and couldn’t understand what was happening inside me and suffered from the outside looking in i ask for your forgiveness – i can only imagine how frustrating disappointing and upsetting it’s been to see me at those times – please know i love each and every one of you and i always have even during the times i’ve done an awful job of letting you know my gratitude – we’re all just people and we all just want real and meaningful happiness and without it often times we become absolutely unbearable and miserable to be around – i’ve been there and again i’m sorry for the pain i’ve caused any one of you – with the grace of god something that began with a nearly complete emotional collapse just 3 years ago has delivered me to a place of greater perspective with a soul opened and shining once again where the words are flowing, the smiles are arriving, and every vision is on the horizon to being my new and blissful reality – my soul has begun again singing so gently elegantly and unendingly – i’m onto my road and it’s laced with golden threads reflecting an endless and brilliant gleam as i speed ahead at just the right time – my unending gratitude to each and every one of you for your unconditional lovewithout it and without you i would most certainly be no longer – you all have been there for and with me through every bit of the happiness every bit of my bitterness and every bit of my failure and still said ‘i love you we love you everything is there right in front of you to reach gary every one of your dreams so never stop’ – thank god you never did – thank god i never have – everything’s coming our wayso be there for them you just might be their greatest blessing their sweetest inspiration or even their very reason for living – wishing you vision wisdom strength and all of god’s blessings ~rettingerrockfiles/RRF~

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