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did you make it through?

September 26, 2011

sometimes a day arrives with all the hope of another brilliant performance by the sun along with visions of a perfectly cooked breakfast of country bacon over-easy eggs and toasted cinnamon bread from that lovely bakery in the north hills of pittsburgh with the only effort necessary being getting out of bed to go sit down – sometimes a day arrives like this and then there’s a morning that brings you your single greatest test of all you have ever learned in life and you’re on! – there’s the spotlight! – what to do now? – for me it was love, unconditional love as the one and only selection that made any sense – paralyzed with gathering energy’s a notion that really makes no sense as i write it yet that’s where i was as i was already on my back for added effect and not yet out of bed nor did teamsleep want me to get out yet just the same – nonetheless my better senses took the reigns, thoughts of clarity were there for the most part, and an ease in the step guided me in what i needed to do and when and why – inheriting great compassion’s been a blessing in my life – and now having learned that the very essence of living life is all that compassion is and becomes led me to carry about with peace in knowing i was doing the absolute right thing and with the purest of love – that’s god’s grace working through us in these moments – and with god’s grace all is possible all is right and all and more will return in kind and greater as that’s how he works – having the surreal reality of what was coming with this visit was enough to want to say ‘no this isn’t right’ – yet god chose me to be the anchor as i wrote about from the high seas just a few months ago and this is what he meant in moments like these that make the most hurtful of no sense and which also call and command for me to make the most perfect of sense – difficult to impossible moments we all typically would rather turn away from and most often most of us do which is why we stay where we stay or even fall over as we fumble and stumble about actually heading backwards all the while smiling laughing and even drowning as we find the pressure to fit in and be like the rest overwhelming – and that’s the place where misstep after misstep pinballed me about these past 19 years – i knew where i was headed and i knew what it would take yet i unwittingly chose to please all the eyes of those who didn’t matter instead – however and ever so interestingly enough it’s taken me right to here where it’s now all coming together – that’s what happens when we cross over into faith and take the high and often lonely road – we find it ultimately to be paved with gold and with everyone on it we wish to be in our lives and with everything of true importance there just the same – thank you for all of the blessings so many in my life have lovingly given me for so long and in such abundance – love in the soul & love in the mind always brings the love of the world – wishing you vision wisdom strength and all of god’s blessings ~rettingerrockfiles/RRF~

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