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bad decisions made good…

October 20, 2013

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initially brings to mind the many failures, letdowns and unintended heartache that came from a place i didn’t even know existed over the course of so many of the blind adventure years most might call their twenties – yet with limitless gratitude i’ve come to learn and experience in the past many months that every better good and great feeling on the other and far better side ever so gracefully can and does keep on reaching out to me from one day to the next – and there’s a reason this is thankfully happening and it’s called forgiveness – as for the reasons that gave life to the painful times there are many with a sadly detailed explanation that one day will fill the pages of their very own story whereas for now we’ll let them be told at another time – for this is a celebration of the light that awaits us all not at the end of our days but within our very hearts inside of our every day – this is the light that shines from within from a source of immeasurable strength and unending reserve as only comes from God, this is the holy spirit – it’s been there forever and it’ll be there forever just the same – yet for so many and for myself for nearly all of my years i was entirely unaware of this amazing font of endlessly giving strength that’s resided right from within –

yes i’ve experienced a wealth and a treasure of lovingly wonderful times with many family, friends and with the amazing gift of the first woman i shared half of my life with and now again with the godsend of a new world class woman now at my side yet i’d never realized with even a glimpse of recognition how nor why these highlights in my life came to be – and likewise i hadn’t too much of a clue as to what led me or anyone with me in the other way into the times of fading hope, difficulty and despair – as for my yesterdays why did she tell me so many times she was feeling blue and why was i so lost as to how to help heal her hurting heart? – she so richly deserved so much better than what she was given in her younger years yet there we were both of us trying to find our ways as well as trying to create a new strength together neither of us had ever seen or felt before – we didn’t know how to do what we didn’t even know we needed to do yet we carried on in a lot of the time with great happiness, at least that’s what we were always running to it seemed – and here’s where the stories will breathe once again at just the right time whereas for now we’ll give thanks to forgiveness

for it’s been forgiveness with the guiding light of God‘s limitless compassion that’s given rise to the wonderful life that’s been steadily more and more of the design that is mine in these past 21 months – and for that i am amazed! – and it all came to be from the very first instant i began to forgive myself and everyone i’d ever pointed to as to being the reason for my pain – and yes it sounds easy and seems nearly impossible to actually do especially when someone’s been so much the opposite than loving in their ways and even more so in their words yet drawing upon this newfound strength to forgive has been my salvation here in this life – when i’ve come to forgive there’s always been a tremendous release of petrifying anger along with an entire pharmacy of ill-serving bad emotions that have all at once left me literally with an air of loving light that i can feel with a smiling peace, that i can hear with a singing heart and that i can see in a golden way with everything i set my eyes upon – and once this way became mine for the having every day in some way, shape or fashion’s come together better than the one before leading me into an ever better understanding of what it is to set about this wonderful life we’ve been given giving of ourselves with spirited excellence being everything of the inspiration, the provider and the healer we can be to all of the wonderfully deserving souls we meet on every path we may travel – for what i’ve found is that to forgive is not only divine yet it is indeed one of the keys to a life well-lived as led from within designed by God in the vision that uniquely is ours – wishing you all God‘s every blessing ~rettingerrockfiles/RRF~

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