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driven to tears…

September 15, 2014

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as the leading words into a conversation typically begins the tale of something rather sad in some fashion or another yet then again that’s not always the way – and today was just such a day and it couldn’t have arrived at any better of a time in our lives for me and my father – as many of you are well aware we’ve now been without my loving mother and dad’s wonderful wife for nearly 40 days right to the minute at this writing since that late tuesday august afternoon just last month – and it still hurts far more than i could’ve ever imagined and far more than anything i’ve said to anyone until these very words – my exceptional mother and dad’s best friend for 61 years was indeed a truly heartwarming presence in every way and while i literally can feel her within my heart in my every minute from one day to the next let it be said it hasn’t been the same – it just hasn’t been the same in not being able to call them up and hear them both on the phone together finishing one another’s sentences, it hasn’t been the same in not hearing mom’s beautifully loud and ever so happy laugh and it hasn’t been the same in not seeing that look in her eye that was the very essence of the words i love you every time we greeted one another as well as every time we went our separate ways – yet by the grace of God we know the only way through all of the grief and sorrow is indeed with having the faith that we are healing – and we know as well that we will rise above the pain as then arriving in a time when only laughter and love fill our hearts as we think of, remember and celebrate my wonderful mother’s life –

and then came a time just earlier today where something so perfect happened as our newly born journey seemed to be given quite a lift in leading us there – and there is a place i am imagining will be one somewhere down the road where almost everything will seem right again even if not ever quite the same – and what happened was simply as beautiful as anything i could’ve ever hoped for in not only my father joining us at our church for a further added shot of well-needed uplifting yet for what happened just after a few short minutes inside – so for setting the scene a bit more clearly it’s well worth understanding my father had been a christmas catholic for many many years in fact far too many than what’s worth counting until he and i just last month began again attending every saturday mass since my mother’s passing – as well it’s quite worth understanding that i’ve very happily been in rather lively services for these past 3 years with my wonderful girlfriend at a rather large christian non-denominational and to say the differences are many at times is very much of an understatement – so in requesting dad to join us as i did of both him and mom a year or so ago it wasn’t a surprise that they weren’t jumping at the invitation – it wasn’t out of any disdain and it wasn’t out of apathy and in fact i’m not really sure what it was as to why they wouldn’t come with us yet it was what it was and that’s that – so here we are in the here&now and for many good reasons from a to well beyond z i just knew my father would take a liking to the uniquely invigorating vitality and brimming vibrancy that lives within sunday service at our church – and to my sheer delight he told me just last evening he’d happily join us and he did –

so there we were arriving to a rather darkened chapel this morning full of many hundreds of parishoners all so joyously enraptured in the amazing songs of praise then happening – and let it be said this wonderful music at times literally thunders through our halls as coming from the gloriously passionate and supremely talented 9-piece band we’re so blessed with – and let it further be said this just wasn’t anything dad had ever been in the midst of before – yet there he was and there we all were and i was just so happy that he was with us – and then it happened – in a setting where traditional hymns aren’t typically the mainstay of the setlist so to speak one of them i wasn’t even familiar with began to ring out in such a wonderfully collective voice and it just felt good – and that’s when i heard one of the most beautiful things ever to come my way in hearing my father’s voice as he was now singing in an ever so soft and elegantly loving fashion that filled not only the air around me to the left yet it filled my heart and then my eyes with the most beautiful tears of happiness – dad’s voice created within me a loving peace that was entirely unexpected as i felt all in that one instant that my father like myself was also now finding an even further peace from within as given a greater helping hand in just being there together with me in a spirit and in a place i so very much love to be – and for that i am thankful and i am amazed in God’s wonderful way in doing what only he can ever do in such a perfecting grace – everything from thereafter was just as beautiful in a way that i’ll never forget this day for the rest of my life – so as with everything i say thank you God and i say thank you dad just as well – here’s to many more years of family and fellowship unlike we’ve ever had before, i love you – wishing you one in the same and God’s every blessing ~rettingerrockfiles/RRF~

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