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{rrf} fighting off the blues…

November 29, 2019

when it’s all all too heavy from the highly-unexpected and truly tragic loss of 3 different friends to the memory of how it once so wonderfully was at the holidays to the neverending hope of somehow not feeling so impossibly flawed in the way of endeavoring to be everything you can possibly be in the eyes and heart of the love of your life collectively have a way of almost totally leveling one’s very spirit – particularly at this time of year –

it’s a feeling at times as if everything’s darkening all around you wherever you happen to be – as well it’s a feeling of being almost entirely invisible as everyone around you so mindlessly heads off this way that way and the other –

and then again as it’s such a strange and seemingly lesser and lesser of a caring world that we find ourselves in the blues unfortunately quite effectively usher in an added kick to the head that can literally leave us feeling almost completely paralyzed –

and then we decide to get out of bed – and then it’s a feeling of shorter breath and that strangest of sensations just behind the eyes – and then it’s the waterworks – and then ever so thankfully they’re over – and then it’s the eye drops – and then it’s the ibuprofen with a little hot tea in fighting off the headache that just suddenly decided to show up –

and then there’s the feeling of hope in the happiness in their eyes that I’ll be relatively expeditious in readying-up their special morning breakfast – and then I see the pictures of Jesus and my dear wonderful mother God rest her soul – and I can literally hear them ever so softly and everything as lovingly telling me you have so much to be thankful for and so much to give

and then I look around with a far wider perspective than what it was just several minutes ago in first waking up and I see that indeed I absolutely do

and I immediately start feeling better – and I feel happier – far happier – and then I literally breathe in newly-found life in speaking out loud my daily morning prayer as if it already all is and I feel even better than when I began with the first word of the prayer – and then I feel myself smiling and I feel even better than just seconds before – and then somehow I find something to laugh about and I feel even better this time instantly –

and then for the better part of the day I’m feeling relatively to maybe even really good – and then in the early evening with any luck in having any properly thankful mindset still left as I walk through that temporarily yet very lonely door I remind myself that God is indeed with me and that he always has been every step of the way even on the very bluest possible day –

wishing one and all the very greatest of godspeed and a very happy holiday season everything the same…

~rettingerrockfiles/RRF~

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